Two hearts as one
by Elena Carfagna
“Always more and more alive than when I arrive. Alive, sparkling and satisfied, that’s how I am, how I feel after a working session with Elena”.
Thus begins the pleasant chat with Elisa M. who, a few days ago, told me about her experience with the ethologist and equine behaviourist Elena Bajona, from whom she is learning how to properly relate with her mare Kamala and, no less important, she is receiving new lymph for her life.
Elisa, after working with Elena, always feels better than how she started; she says that when she arrives from Rome, after a car trip lasting more than three hours, she feels a bit “scattered”, that is exactly how she says. For her it is enough to start working with Elena to feel centred again, as if she were putting the pieces of a puzzle back that reassembles and regains its shape; at that point everything starts flowing very well, both with her beloved mare, and inside of herself. She adds that this beneficial effect of the meeting with Elena is felt for several days to follow: it is absolutely therapeutic; each time is a new and gratifying experience that helps her build a joyful relationship with her mare and with herself.
Elisa tells me she felt that she could trust Elena from the first time they talked on the phone when Elena explained to her how she is working: an immediate feeling started first with her voice, and what she said was very encouraging; after many unsuccessful attempts, instinctively she felt immediately that this was the right one. She threw herself headlong into this adventure, without any hesitation.
Knowing Elena personally confirmed the positive feelings on the phone and, right from the beginning, she felt welcomed, respected and never judged. “Elena’s work with horses cannot be compared to that of anyone else, continues Elisa; her approach is based on listening, presence, respect and language, on the ability to understand who is in front of her and put you on her wavelength; working together finding a unique harmony from which arise both trust and learning. I really like the fact that Elena’s is not a method, she has no rules, no preconceptions, no formulas, I like her spontaneity, her consistency and her simplicity; I also like the naturalness and the speed with which things are happening and not because I am in a hurry, rather, I tend to slow down to enjoy more the experience because it is very enriching.
The willingness to learn to do better and better for and with her mare, the fact that every week Elisa appreciates important improvements in Kamala’s behaviour which, freed from all fears and coercion, is much more likely to change and to learn. As a result , the way that she manages to relate gives her a lot of trust.
“I live this experience as a big chapter of my life that could only happen, a period of great learning for me and for Kamala. I was sure that would happen, but I didn’t think it was possible ”, continues Elisa.
Before meeting Elena, Elisa was facing the difficulties that can be encountered when you take care of a young and beautiful thoroughbred saved from racing.
“Kamala was a dream come true: all I had to do was take care of her and see her happy and free, go and visit her whenever I wanted and be with her without asking for an appointment. But this romantic dream clashed with a much more complex reality: Kamala did finally live with a group of horses in a large field, but she was still unhappy and continued not trusting people who could help her to feel better, even physically. We both needed help, to face together the ghosts of the past in order to overcome them”.
Elisa came to Elena with no expectations about what might have happened; the idea of changing air was enogh for her, trying to move away from a difficult past during which she tended to protect the mare from herself rather than encouraging her to evolve and improve.
Elisa was looking for new energies that would shake herself and her mare out of a heavy situation where they couldn’t communicate or enjoy each other. In the previous experiences she had with horses and with people who took care of them, Elisa revealed to me that she had always played a role that suited a situation that was not what she was looking for; Elisa needed someone to help her grow the relationship with Kamala in a perspective no longer limited to the physical well-being of the mare but aimed, above all, at the psychological aspect; she was looking for someone to help interpret correctly her mare’s behaviours and interact in an ethical way (particularly important for Elisa), someone in whose hands to put her wonderful creature and to whom to entrust her and to fully rely on, without any reserve.
“It is the first time, Elisa confides to me, that I am with horses and with a person who teaches and trains me and with whom I feel I can be myself, authentic; I am sure that this is the same thing that is happening to Kamala, and for me this is the highest expression of trust you can feel. This beautiful path with Elena is helping me and my mare to meet our needs and our dreams in a light, fresh and joyful way: I am no longer tense when I approach Kamala and finally I enjoy myself as never before; it is a pleasure to communicate with her and enjoy each other’s company. Thinking that at first it would have been enough for me to have a mare that didn’t limp and was a little more serene!”
” I found in Elena a guide who gently leads me by the hand and with whom I feel free to confront myself without any hesitation on everything that emerges along the way. For these little great miracles that happen every time, I can only express all my infinite gratitude to Elena: I will never stop thanking her! ”
“I can compare Elena”, Elisa concludes, “to an orchestra director who with her professionalism, competence and dedication has managed to restore the harmony that I have always sought where, before, there were only dissonant notes”.
Tuscany, Italy – July 2022
Elena Carfagna – Passionate reader and writer, her stories tell her deep love for life. To fathom the beauty of the human soul and to pay tribute to it is her mission.